That Foster Kid- Living in the afterlife

That Foster Kid- One Million in One

That Foster Kid- Untitled

That Foster Kid- Cursed

Shattered Glass

By Luis Porraz

Once the damage is done, I cannot revert the hurt

It lurks like dirt particles, how do I show myself

When I am insecure with cracks like webs

Connecting each memory of that moment

The creation of existence, the beginning of time... For me

Was my birth a wormhole, a portal to another dimension

Why do feel like I don't belong? Not just on earth but in myself

Was there a break in life, a shift in the paradigm of mine

Maybe it just my vision through shattered glass

 

He

By Luis Porraz

 

The cracks remain, remnants of what cannot be forgotten

Scarred fragments of memories, in which flash and strike like lightning

Burning holes, turning wholes into nothing but ashes

A fragile shell, a void fading in and out of reality,

With each step closer to it's demise

Trying to grasp the concept of existence, a reason, a purpose!

All maintained as encrypted data,

With an impenetrable firewall that cannot be undone

What is to become of this thing!

Every word it pukes cries out for help! Except that word itself

It wishes to be yet it cannot see that it has always been a he

"Some song I was writing" By Luis Porraz

I'm sitting here in darkness and I don't know what to do

The shadows are consuming me I wish I could get through

When I think it's over I keep thinking of you

What did you do, what did you do to me

Again and again I try to pretend your words are illusions

Trying to drown out your ways of causing intrusions

But I can't help me

But I can't help me

Sometimes I lose myself in you 

Never wanting to find a way back 

What stops me? what's holding me down?

These thoughts are like quicksand 

Swallowing every motion I make 

Suffocating each and every inch of my body 

Depression is the only branch in reach 

With sadness as my only savior 

I've lost all taste in this world 

Now all I have to savor are my memories 

Because the present and I are enemies 

So many things I tried to say 

But I'm always in a rush 

To get away from you 

Just know its not your fault and it will never be

The distances between us and it is a must 

To keep my sanity 

To dream my fantasies 

To miss my family 

So I can let you see

What's right with me

What's right with me

Where do we go when dreams die?

By Luis Porraz

Miraculous that they vanished

Just like my future I've been banished 

Tossed out to suffer in the cycle of hate 

With chains increasing in never ending weight 

There are no exits or expiration dates 

Darkness all over, hearing dreams cry themselves to death

Where it's possible to choke on air 

Gasping, asking for a quick slaughter 

Regrets come to life stabbing you 

With anguish, humility, and hopelessness 

Tears stay inside afraid to show weakness 

Never to evaporate, flooding your thoughts 

Heavy headed regretting ever asking "where do we go when dreams die?"

"You didn't see me when I was here, so how could you miss me when I'm gone" -Luis Porraz

Cast Away

By Luis Porraz

How would I know I'm not invisible when you aren't there to tell me

My words scream for help, only to hear the echoes again and again

Engulfed by the emptiness but prevent showing any sign

Corroding from the inside out knowing this problem is mine

It's ok, I'm fine, it's what I always say but you'll never know

Because when I did all I ever saw was merciless ridicule

All I ever heard laughter with certainty

All I ever felt was a lash from rejection

A subject for societies objection...

The Closest Stranger

By Luis Porraz

Remember all those games we used to play

Now you're nothing but a stranger

Everytime I see you now

All I register is danger

To you a friend's a task

You can always adapt with your liquid mask

You're the blade that cuts the veins of friendship

It's a shame I should've read the fine print

You were the patch on my favorite jacket that fell off

Now you avoid me too walking away with a fake cough

You can't see the scars but you can feel them when I talk

Now it's just your memory that takes me on a walk

It's just honesty, I understand go ahead and mock...

Message from the heart

By Luis Porraz

You thought I was missing! 

I hear these voices telling him he's empty

I'm sorry dear owner for sealing myself away

I wish it was different, I wish I could've stayed

This is how I react when I get betrayed

Not just once but over and over in life I got played

This time I was dying and as a reflex I became frozen

I became the numb you feel inside, invisible to yourself

I know you understand others yet aren't believed

So when you hear them you can never be deceived

You still go along knowing you'll get stabbed from behind

I would say please there is a cure for you to find

I wish I could fix it, but love's an incurable disease

Go on without me, you're what everybody sees

With love frozen in time,

Your heart that's one of a kind

Misunderstood is Music

By Luis Porraz

Any other musicians out there?

Alone, dreaming of music and drowning in melodies

These things are permanent like broken memories

With the curse to heal everybody but yourself?

Secluded, in fear of being used for such a blessing

Choking on the thought that they'll leave you guessing

Why do we become a tool for entertainment?

Fame, the only way we see a chance for survival

Sharing the fact that we're all the same but in denial

What a curse... What a blessing...

Just the thought has me stressing...

Two Halves

By Luis Porraz

To others my writing is guidance yet for me it is essential for survival. Even though I write/sing/cry out my emotions, it doesn't seem like enough. Is there such thing as a cure for this depressive madness? I miss my mom, I miss the dad I never had, I miss the siblings that were taken, I miss my friends, most of all I miss myself. It gets even worse when I'm told to choose a side between two friends because I can't, I choose both and I end up with them leaving. What kind of friend am I to agree with them, when will this end...

Letting Go

By Luis Porraz

Thoughts of wisdom traveled in the wind lifting my spirit and soothing my soul

The lack of knowledge helped me let go of the problems that I had manifested

The air had a scent filling my lungs with willpower and stamina to ensure I reached my goal

Beauty reflected on water as I stared unto thee, no longer to believe I was infected

Now I ask not why, but who was at fault for these events that occured

I knew it foolish to ask yet the answer came by emotion, here I thought it be described by words

Remember when you lie, you're accepted for what you're not. Why do you fear being seen for who you are? (Answer that and dwell on the thought long enough till you can't take it anymore but to show your true self)

Where am I?

By Luis Porraz

I'm traumatized

Haunted by the fact that I'm still alive

Everyday I feel like I'm a sacrifice

Writing confidently to cover these fears 

Tears scream hiding the anguish from torturous years

Ridiculed as a man showing such emotions

Crumbling inside to find a cure, a potion 

Nevertheless he is a continuous victim 

Fighting reflections and people trying to infect him

What does he do? there has to be a solution 

His life is aching, is death the only substitution?

Even the mask is losing the ability to pretend 

He's always running in his head, he hears the knife calling again

Writing is the only escape from this wretched reality

It's corrupting everything including his fantasy...

When I was a child I always wanted to fit in but I was like water flowing through the holes of their standards. Now that I know better, I am the water that is essential to survive and I was born with the right ammount. (Moral of this short story, don't let others take or contaminate your water)

Love Inbound

By Luis Porraz

Love is and asteroid, Earth bound

Until it makes an impact you won't hear a sound

So you fear the thought of it destroying you

It's not abnormal, it's something new

Wasteful Thinking

By Luis Porraz

I see your shadow crying telling me of your sorrow

Exposing your suicide attempt for the day to follow

We may not know each other but I'll want you here tomorrow

It'll be over, I promise! (I've already lost so many)

One day less, please don't worry (if it's beauty you've got plenty)

I cannot lose you too~

I don't know what I'd do~

We just got to make it through!